bringin' home da bacon.

Today is Monday. Sacred Monday. It is a day that calls out to me all week with promises of down time and together time. It is our day off. On our standard-issue missionary calenders, Mondays are surrounded by halos (totally discount that last sentence). Don't spit on my Mondays.

So, today Monday Rey and I awoke to the babies sleeping in. Ahh, Great start. Even better, a little thing called date-night (sung to a trembling falsetto) shimmers in the evening. It is going to be a great day.

Our cupboards were just like Ole Mother Hubbards, so I had a brilliant idea. The kids are still sleeping, so why don't I squeak out and get the grocery shopping over with? That way, it would just be done and not take a chunk out of the day--basically no one is at the stores in the mornings. I shoved a hat down over greasy bed-hair and ran.

Our van has been "fixed" about 3 times in this last month. It still has some major issues though--causing me to creep through the town at 20 mph the whole way to the store. "It's ok," I thought, lifting my chin optimistically, "It is a beautiful, quiet morning..."

I pulled into the store parking lot and literally ran through the store, filling the cart with the weeks' necessities. I had a day off to get back to.

Ah, I will need to go into some explanatory ramblings at this point. So, we lost our debit card last week, which means--no cash. I got a new one ordered, but it's looking like it could be around a month before we get the mail again. I was thinking we could just use our credit card and transfer from our checking in that marvelous thing called online banking. That will work for a month, right?? Oops. Forgot we live in Mexico. Where at least 70% of the businesses here don't have credit card machines. Got the brilliant idea to "PayPal" some money over to our partners-in-crime here, my aunt and uncle, and have them be our ATM machine for a while. Last night, I transferred money to them... and I knew it takes about 3-5 days for them to get it. I called our bank just to make sure our credit card would be fine for use (we've used it before, but in the last couple weeks it hadn't been working). They said, "Yep. No problem."

Back to today. The cash register. Got all rung up... and the card didn't swipe. "Try it again," I say, trying not to feel the judgmental from the line behind me, "I just talked to the bank and they said it will work." Nope.

So, yes. This was the morning I ran out without a cell phone. And, it doesn't really matter--because we don't have cash. Great. So, I start to walk out, and then stop by customer service to see if a manager could work some magic. Bless her bones, she tried. I stood there for at least 45 minutes, watching my milk curdle on register 14, and she came back with, "Sorry. No can do."

Big sigh. Ok, thanks. I went back to the register to tell the girl that I would indeed come back with money. Please don't put my groceries back. She gave me a spacey smile, "What groceries??" What? Turns out, they were almost being put away, but I saved them just in time. My precious groceries. "Please keep them here. I'll be right back."

I run out to the van. Turn the key over. Can you guess?? The van is dead. Won't do anything but click. No cell phone.

I run back into customer service. A girl that had seen me standing there those 45 minutes came over. I told her my plight-- "Can I please use the phone to call my husband?" "No, these phones are for in-store use only." (Although I had seen the manager calling the banks from that phone). I told her I had no money, my car wouldn't start and it would just be a few seconds of a phone call. Was there no phone I could use?

I could tell I was already gone in her mind as she said, "No." I said, "Ok, I guess I'll start walking then." She said, "Yep." (in Spanish, though).

The closet place to walk to was my aunt and uncle's house...and besides, they were our ATM. I was going to just have to ask for a cash advance. And for a vehicle. Or a ride. Or something.

It is about a 3-mile hike to the ATM house, on windy, uphill streets. Thankfully, it is uncommonly warm today or I would be adding frostbite to my list of woes.

I got to the relative's place... and asked to use the phone. Rey answers. "Why did you walk to the Glick's house? Why didn't you call me from the store phone." Grr. "Oh, I forgot to tell you. If the van doesn't start in park, put it into neutral and it will." Double grr.

I asked my aunt if she could forward me the money. "Oh!" she gasped, "Your uncle took it over to Rey like 30 minutes ago!" Foreheads were slapped all around.

My uncle said he'd give me a ride to the store, pay for the groceries and then follow me to our house, where Rey could reimburse him. We got to the store. The van started, but my uncle found he was short on cash.

So, we drove out to my house, got the cash from Rey and then drove back to the store.

The only hiccup upon getting to the store (you knew there had to be one, right?), was that the store people had put away all the cold things I had in my cart. So, I had to do my "cold shopping" again. And, by this time the store is wall-to-wall people getting stuff for their afternoon meal.

Stood in line at the register. Again. Paid. And, went home. Any guesses on arrival time--since the whole point was to save time and whatnot?? Almost 1 pm. Goodbye half a day.

Ah. The super-dooper funny part about this post is the title. See, I hardly ever buy bacon... but, today I did. So, I mean I brought home the bacon. I mean, I li-ter-al-ly brought home the bacon (have you seen "Date Night"? The book club scene? Come on. Go rent it.)