sell outs.

We aren't. Really. It was just a fun title.

Most of you know that we have not been able to raise anywhere near what we need to live here. It is really the grace of God that keeps us going. But, it also can create a pressing stress when it comes to any financial thing.

A couple of months ago, we were stuck. We had way more bills than we had the ability to pay. So we decided to sell some non-essentials. Things we don't really need today-- like that stove we had, when this house came with a stove. Or (*sniff*) all our baby clothes that had been outgrown. Or clothes we didn't use that often. Or that TV screen (who needs a 36" when you have an 8"?). Or that cozy robe (sweaters work just fine). Don't need this stroller when I have 2 strong arms. Thinning out some of Noah's toys worked, too. "We don't really need these frames, or those cups, or..."

Using this approach, we were able to put out a couple tables of stuff and hang some things on our fence and have a fine garage sale.

However, we soon ran out of non-essentials.

I then remembered something I had done to help us out financially when we lived in Rio Bravo: Selling for people. I asked around among our friends if anyone had stuff they'd like to sell. I'd offer to sell it for them and split it 50-50. Works out good because we always have "new" stuff to sell, and they are getting a little something for doing nothing.

We usually try to put out our little "thrift shop" at least once on the weekend, depending on Rey's schedule. We seem to sell best on Saturdays.

Days we sell are crazy days. "Hit the floor running and don't stop 'till it's over" kind of days. Days that our bed looks like this. All day.



It is always a juggling game. It takes about an hour of running to get everything out and ready to sell... stepping over and around little helpers that want to pull clothes off tables and tags off of clothes. Taking turns gobbling down breakfast, lunch, supper.





The other great thing about doing this selling is we get to meet our neighbors and somewhat form relationships with them. That is huge.

We put out our shop today. Oh, my. What were we thinking? As you see, we live on a dusty dirt road. Made even dustier by 5 months without any kind of rain. And today was sooo windy. I'm guessing it was gusting around 30 mph. Clothes were flying around. You couldn't see the end of the street. Craziness.

As we packed up stuff in the afternoon, I told Rey it looked like we'd been trying to do business on the beach. E-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g was coated it sandy dirt. Ni modo ("oh well"), we had to try!

Now, the dust has (literally and figuratively) settled. Everything is back to where it should be, windows and doors shut, house swept. I found myself finally making our bed about 7 pm. I know, I know. What's the point.... But, it really helps me feel like I can settle in and relax when everything is "as it should be" (for the most part!).

So, now... me and my baby are gonna settle in with a big bowl of veggie soup and a movie someone gave us. And we are going to relax!

dumbness... it can be scary.

Do you ever stop to think about how nice the world would be without money? Now don't roll your eyes or overthink it... What I mean is: How many of the horrible, life-taking things going on in the world today are because of money. Because money = power. And everyone wants that. Power.

I just get so annoyed when I think about the evil that drugs has done to the country I am living in. Stupid drugs. I mean, seriously? Killing innocent people, kidnapping innocent people, terrorizing innocent people-- for marijuana? I know-- it comes down to the money = power thing... but, grr!

I wonder how different our experience here would be without the whole "drug thing". From what we hear, this area had no drug issue until about 3 years ago when the cartels moved in. They now hold the area in a grip of utter panic. Fear for life. Fear for living. They work somewhat like the mafia: Extorting businesses under threat of death or destruction of property. They have been known to raze schools. They have kidnapped family members right from their front doorstep. They set up blockades on the roads and pull people over... stealing cars or worse. They show up at random places, always armed to the hilt, and demanding whatever they want.

What would it be like without this darkness? Obviously now people are deciding the safest thing is to stay huddled up in their houses and stick with the people they know. Mexicans have always been known for being warm, open and hospitable. We haven't found that in this area, and we think we know why.

I don't usually get scared about it unless I am out driving with the kids alone. There are certain highways in town that it seems like soldier-drug people chases take place with more frequency... and when I am on those roads, my pulse gets faster. I start over-analyzing every fancy looking SUV, every car without plates. I give them extra distance, try to check if they might be following.

Here, as soon as the sun goes down, the area becomes somewhat desolate. There aren't too many people on the streets, walking or in cars. It is generally known that the safest time to be out is in the morning and afternoon. After that, people stick close to home. I don't like to drive after dark. The feeling that everyone is hiding pushes my imagination into overdrive.

Rey just got home from the Huichol Indian village. He says that they were pulled over by one of the drug road blockades. They were forced to get out of their vehicles and questioned as to their activities. The vehicles the team uses have magnets with the ministry name on them.... and Rey feels like if it weren't for them they may have been fired upon since they failed to stop right away.

So, there. That's our situation. It's ugly. It's wrong. And it's so dumb.

sweetest hubby award

Convo between me and my true love:

He: Wow, you look great! It's gotta be those exercise classes, right?
Me: I've only gone to 2 classes...

:)

artsy

We often comment that Rey should have studied Mechanical Engineering. He is an Industrial Engineer... but he has an uncanny sense for how things work and how to fix things. It is his absolute favorite thing to loose himself for hours with some broken thing, and emerge victorious with the answer.

I joke that I should've studied Industrial Engineering. Rey's area of study specializes in process, especially in the factory world. How things get put together, how the process could be made faster, more streamlined. Let me tell you, that is my specialty. Be it good or bad, my brain is always firing at me faster more efficient ways to get the job done. I think it drives my poor details-loving man crazy, but the space between A-B always seems small to me.

Enter my new job with my friend, Doris. Let's just start off by saying--growing up with 7 brothers and a momma with more than enough on her plate did not leave much room for "crafty-ness". No ma'am. We did not labor much with the hot glue gun or make large poofy creations from ribbon and styrofoam. It was a pretty straight-forward and durable world I grew up in (which I loved). However, my friend Doris was gifted with an amazing sense of color and texture combinations that help her to create memorable and beautiful jewelry from the beads she sells. She also has these hands that seem to be both strong and flexible, able to work deftly with the smallest of pieces and to coax them into obedience.

Having worked far more with diapers and shovels (not together...yet), this has been a completely new world for me. I love all kinds of learning and I love being creative, so it has been a world that I am enjoying. I do have to admit feeling less than adequate many times--since many of the regulars at Doris's store are more like her than like me.

Doris offers several jewelry making classes at her store. A new one taught the process of "filigrana". Basically, the process involves making jewelry from molding wire into circles, swirls, designs and interlocking them all into one piece. Usually there are beads accenting at certain parts.

Doris asked if I'd be interested in taking the class. She hoped I'd be able to learn the process and then teach some classes myself.

Did I mention I've never done any kind of jewelry making? That pliers aren't a 3rd hand for me? That I've taken exactly 3 of Doris's BEGINNER classes and this is definitely an advanced technique?

But, I'm up for anything. So I said, "Sure!" We got schedules figured out, and I went to my first class. For 3 HOURS, I made circles, and circles and circles.

Tiny circles.

Observe:



I mean... eye-crossingly tiny!



The thing is, every ring has to be completely round, the exact same size. The place where the wires of the circle meet need to overlap the tiniest little bit... enough to close it tightly, but not so much as to warp the circle.

For ever 3 rings I made, 2 were rejected. That was when I was doing well.

I envisioned the teacher banging his head to a mushy pulp every day as I left the class.

And, being the "streamlining" type person I am... all I could think about was this huge container that Doris has behind the counter of thousands of those perfect rings, made by a MACHINE! Hellllooooo?? Can't I just use those rings to make this precious necklace?

It was then that I realized it. I am not an artist. I think that artists revel in the process almost more than the finished product. They take pride in knowing just how much of their art was made by their own hand.

Nope. I'm just artsy. I like learning about stuff. I like seeing how things were made. I like being creative--to a point. It's just the way it is. There is only so much time I will invest in something before I am asking myself if there is a more efficient way around this mountain.

It's kind of a sad realization, but not a new one. I know I don't have the staying power to perfect a craft. It just makes me admire more people that do.

PS--I am not taking that class any more. It demanded more time than I could put into it. And, we decided I should probably conquer Beginner and Intermediate before I take on Advanced. :)

my limits.

Some sweet friends had a get together/meal for a bunch of us tonight.

Rey ate first and then wrangled Aleni while I scooped some food onto my plate to gobble it down.

Rey asked if I had gotten anything out of that dish. That dish was a covered dish which held some unknown black, gnarly, mushy looking substance which I passed on as I went for the identifiable rice and beans.

Him (brightly): You should try some!
Me: What is it?
Him (looking around for help): I can't remember the name of it...?? (getting no help, he shrugs:) Well, anyways. It's cooked blood and onions!" (smiling encouragingly)

I told him since he'd described it so beautifully.... I'd pass.

not so bad

Disinfecting fruits and veggies ain't so bad when it looks like this:

sending love.

Will. William. Will Patrick.
When you arrived, time for me stood still.
It was as if the hurry, scurry, flurry disappeared
And the only thing that mattered was you.
You are here.

Your arrival was momentous for many reasons.
You are number 4 in your family.
Number 12 to my auntie count.
You were number 1 in your family for me.
Because you were the first of your siblings
At whose birth I was absent.

Will, you are a sweet bundle of perfection.
I can imagine how perfectly sweet you smell.
How your wrinkly little toes object to being washed.
How your little eyes try to make sense of this foreign world.
The love you get from your proud older siblings.

You reminded me, nephew of mine,
You made me feel the distance.
You helped me remember the tightness of sister bonds,
The one-of-a-kind inner knowing of sisterhood.
You made that truth so clear to me that I cried that day.
Cried like I haven't in a long time.
Because I miss you. Miss your mom. Your siblings.
I miss home.

Will, I send a kiss to you across these many miles.
A light kiss on your warm, smooth forehead.

Hoping it gets to you okay,
Your loving aunt