Last night, Rey and I had one of those conversations that I'd felt coming for a while. You know... those conversations. It wasn't the funnest of topics--but, what was great was getting maybe a little closer to understanding what makes each of us tick.
Did you know you can figure out a lot about a person's take on life--or at least work philosophy--by how they eat??
Our conversation was about our completely-different-not-even-similar ways of going at a job list. I think: Make a list, prioritize, do it. He thinks.... hmmm. What was going on in there? It seemed that he had no sense of time management, no sense of level of priority.
It was driving me bonkers.
So, after scooting around the issue for quite some time, we began to talk about "what is the deal"? In the conversation, I was talking about just "getting things done and over with". In that theme, I talked about how (especially as a kid) when I was presented with a plate of food, I would visually divide it into food I didn't like, food I liked, and food I loved. I would always start with the food I hated to get it over with, and end with the food I loved to reward myself. My thought was, "Get it out of the way".
Ya know what Rey said? He said when he was in the same situation, he started off with food he liked, then went to the food he hated, and then ended up with food he liked. That he needed to sandwich the bad between the good.
And that, my friends, basically summarized our work philosophies. While I tend to think the more yucky stuff needs to get done right away and quickly, Rey has to mentally get himself into the position to do the yucky by doing another task he enjoys.
See, that's another thing. Rey enjoys working. He looses himself in his work and comes out on the other side with a big grin on his face.
I, on the other hand, work with a tyrant in my brain. The tyrant says, "Get off your butt, ya big lazy slob. Don't you see those dishes stacked up and the dirt on the floor? What are you? A filthy good-for-nothin'---"--you get the idea.
When Rey works, he thinks flowers and butterflies (I asked him!).
Ahh, and the clashing begins. I, angry from trying to escape the pushy, judgemental motivator in my head, begin chafing as I watch Rey happily spending 5 hours on a job I would have done in 20 minutes.
Rey, being yanked from his tranquil scrubbing by a scowling face and a "hurry-it-up-wouldja" attitude, sinks into anger mixed with frustration. "What's her problem? I'm being productive, aren't I?"
He's enjoying the good so he can eventually enjoy the bad, while I am just rushing to get it over with and move on. I really can't imagine enjoying most of the work I do. Rey says I should just stop doing things unless I really want to do them. He says it is evident when I am doing things without the "want to".
Maybe I can't stop changing diapers, scrubbing the floor or cleaning the toilet--but his attitude towards work makes me think of "whatever you do, do it heartily ['with your heart'] as to the Lord." Rey says when he does do something, it's coming from a heart-desire to do it.
I often work because I feel it is expected of me. I feel that I will be judged if I don't and that I will be a lesser person. I work for compliments and recognition. I work from a fear of failure. I work, and feel that no matter what, it's not enough.
It is interesting to look back and see what shapes ones view of work. I can see where I got many of my feelings towards work--and am working at trying to see my daily tasks through new eyes.
What about you? How do you empty your plate?
Did you know you can figure out a lot about a person's take on life--or at least work philosophy--by how they eat??
Our conversation was about our completely-different-not-even-similar ways of going at a job list. I think: Make a list, prioritize, do it. He thinks.... hmmm. What was going on in there? It seemed that he had no sense of time management, no sense of level of priority.
It was driving me bonkers.
So, after scooting around the issue for quite some time, we began to talk about "what is the deal"? In the conversation, I was talking about just "getting things done and over with". In that theme, I talked about how (especially as a kid) when I was presented with a plate of food, I would visually divide it into food I didn't like, food I liked, and food I loved. I would always start with the food I hated to get it over with, and end with the food I loved to reward myself. My thought was, "Get it out of the way".
Ya know what Rey said? He said when he was in the same situation, he started off with food he liked, then went to the food he hated, and then ended up with food he liked. That he needed to sandwich the bad between the good.
And that, my friends, basically summarized our work philosophies. While I tend to think the more yucky stuff needs to get done right away and quickly, Rey has to mentally get himself into the position to do the yucky by doing another task he enjoys.
See, that's another thing. Rey enjoys working. He looses himself in his work and comes out on the other side with a big grin on his face.
I, on the other hand, work with a tyrant in my brain. The tyrant says, "Get off your butt, ya big lazy slob. Don't you see those dishes stacked up and the dirt on the floor? What are you? A filthy good-for-nothin'---"--you get the idea.
When Rey works, he thinks flowers and butterflies (I asked him!).
Ahh, and the clashing begins. I, angry from trying to escape the pushy, judgemental motivator in my head, begin chafing as I watch Rey happily spending 5 hours on a job I would have done in 20 minutes.
Rey, being yanked from his tranquil scrubbing by a scowling face and a "hurry-it-up-wouldja" attitude, sinks into anger mixed with frustration. "What's her problem? I'm being productive, aren't I?"
He's enjoying the good so he can eventually enjoy the bad, while I am just rushing to get it over with and move on. I really can't imagine enjoying most of the work I do. Rey says I should just stop doing things unless I really want to do them. He says it is evident when I am doing things without the "want to".
Maybe I can't stop changing diapers, scrubbing the floor or cleaning the toilet--but his attitude towards work makes me think of "whatever you do, do it heartily ['with your heart'] as to the Lord." Rey says when he does do something, it's coming from a heart-desire to do it.
I often work because I feel it is expected of me. I feel that I will be judged if I don't and that I will be a lesser person. I work for compliments and recognition. I work from a fear of failure. I work, and feel that no matter what, it's not enough.
It is interesting to look back and see what shapes ones view of work. I can see where I got many of my feelings towards work--and am working at trying to see my daily tasks through new eyes.
What about you? How do you empty your plate?
Sounds like a great conversation!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say I, too, save dessert for last. Thank you for giving me permission to eat some of the good stuff first! ;)
Rachel