It's 8:30 pm. For me, my day's work as a momma is virtually over. It is a time when it feels as though a great load has slid from my shoulders. I breathe more deeply, relax.
I went up to our 4th floor roof/patio to bring in the laundry off the line. The sky is still brightened by the setting sun, clouds are rimmed in silvery gold light. Lights are beginning to twinkle on in the houses spread out below me. The city streets and buildings are adorned with a palm tree or two, mesquite here and potted plants there. Cars seem to drive slower, families walk by hand-in-hand, children's voices at play waft up to me on the breeze.
I love this view: the city hemmed in by mountains all around. When I spend time up here on the roof, staring out beyond the city to the mountains, my mind drifts to Rey. To the communities there, beyond. To the natural beauty that lies just 10 minutes drive outside the city in any direction. I never grow tired of gazing at the countryside in the place we live.
Unclipping onesies and t-shirts from the clothesline, I say a prayer for our city, for the cities around us. And for Rey. And, inevitably, I realize a question is playing in my mind:
But, what am I here for?
Not "here", as in alive on earth. But here, as in Fresnillo instead of somewhere else. Am I supposed to be here? What difference is my being here making, as opposed to living--say--where I was born and raised?
Staying at home with my little darlings wasn't exactly what I had imagined when I dreamed of adventurous missionary life as a girl. No, I was supposed to be hacking through the jungles and saving orphan children from disaster! Missionaries don't just stay home, changing diapers and wiping spit-up off their shirts while singing, "It's raining, it's pouring". They don't just mop the floors and prepare their meals while their husbands are out "doing the work"--do they?
I have thought about how "inconvenient" this specific kind of missionary work is for the stage of life I am in. Rey travels to communities that can be up to 5 hours away--one way! Many of these communities are still in the "street evangelism stage". Real conducive to nap-times and good, healthy meals! Now, if we were planting a church... I muse....
However, I have found a place of contentment in this: It's real simple. I am here because I am obeying God's call. I am here because I am Rey's support. I am here because I am the mother, the teacher, the molder, the stability of our two children. I am here. And I am a missionary. And it is an adventure.
And, those clothes I got off the line? I'd better go fold them now.