Sunday, August 15, 2010

Church today...

So, today is church day.

I know, we clean up niiiice.

For some reason, the last 3 weeks or so, Noah has started this new thing. He'll be having the best morning, and be really happy to be going "bye-bye"--and then he'll realize we are turning down the street to church, and he'll go off. Screaming in holy (get it? "holy"?) terror. Twisting in his car seat like he would physically like to change the direction of the car. The only reason we can figure out for this is that there is a lady in the church that he is completely and unequivocally scared of. She looks a little like this:

I don't think there is anything wrong with the old soul--but since we started going to this church (over a year and a half ago), Noah hides whenever he sees her. She's had something like 15 children. She always wears a large shawl over her head, and shuffles along with a hunched back.

The problem is, 9 times out of 10, this woman is in the nursery with her granddaughter, and that means Noah won't go in there. Or, if she happens to come in after he's already there, playing happily--he looks up, then runs to me as fast as he can, wedging himself between me and the wall. He won't pull himself out or look at anyone until she leaves. It is so weird.

So, anyways. Now, he starts screaming from the time he realizes where we are headed. Today, we got him out of the van to him saying, "No, no, no, no..." and then he bolted away from the church, towards home. When I said we needed to go to church, he laid on the sidewalk and howled. He howled all the way into church as I carried him in and, once there, kept pulling my hand to take him back out. Daddy distracted him with some snacks, and then it was on to the service.

Noah loves the music part, so he was soon busy dancing and imitating the drummer.

During the sermon, usually one of us is downstairs with Noah and the other is with Aleni. This time, Rey took Noah down to see a puppet show they were putting on for the kiddos.

In the sermon today, the preacher was talking about how God created the perfect "pharmacy" in the fruits and veggies He made. She said that God gave us "hints" as to what the vegetation was good for. For example, carrots, when cut in slices, look like the eye--and that's what they are good for. Other things: Avocado is in the shape of the womb, good for "women things". Tomato is like the heart (has 4 "chambers", is red)--and it's good for it. All kinds of interesting examples. The one that had me consciously keeping a straight face was the good old fig. She said, "They grow in pairs and are filled with seeds." Can you figure it out? It's good for "guy stuff"--combats male infertility.

I didn't giggle then, but always on the way home from church, the one that heard the sermon shares it with the one that didn't. I told Rey the highlights, and when I got to that part, I was laughing like a Jr. High boy.

After we got home, Rey said he was running to the store. To get some stuff. To make fig smoothies. Ewww... I gotta figure out what the "anti-fig" is!


  1. Boooo. BOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! You had TRUUUUUEEE love and you're nothing more than the Queen of GARRRRBAAAGE!!!! (That's what the old lady makes me think of!)
    Maybe Rey would consider that beautiful country home if it had a few fig trees growing there!

    Oh, man. When I read this, I let out the biggest gaffaw. I think the neighbors heard it.
    Very true--about the old lady. I'll have to be honest and say she doesn't make me real comfortable either.
    Oh, the fig trees....


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