So, the house is a wreck. I've got oodles of things to do, gobs even. But, instead, I am taking these first few moments of nap-time to tap out some completely self-absorbed thoughts.
Mainly, on the thought that mommahood really comes to life on days momma isn't feeling quite up to snuff. Doesn't it kind of stink that we can't have a day to just shuffle around in a grumpy, nontalking mode and just "live" a day--as opposed to directing it? That we can't just roll over in bed, pull the covers up and let the diapers wait 'till tomorrow? That we can be sick as a dog, but still need to do our best at keeping our voices chirpy as we talk to our mini-me's??
Now, I am not deathly ill, or even sick. I have had an on-and-off earache for the last few weeks, which has been a pain (get it?). Thankfully, the earache is now "off", so I should be operating at full capacity, right? Right. Well, for some reason, I woke up today with that feeling of being "unplugged". Like whatever energy was allotted to June 11, 2010 slipped away and is playing hooky for the day. My muscles, bones, brain--everything seemed to stay asleep as I began the morning cycles of diapers, dressings, breakfasts, house straightening...
And, to make it better, Noah woke up screaming this morning and has been screaming about every 10 minutes ever since. Of course. I found myself screaming back a few times, before finding the correct chirpy-yet-firm mommy voice for the situation.
Why can't mommas just slink away and hunker down in a closet with a flashlight, chocolate and some good magazines? How is it that within 2 minutes of such slinking... the whole house is upended in a mom-hunt?
So, there you have it. My thoughts of the day. When people ask about what is so hard about being a stay-at-home mom--you tell them just one thing: Sick (aka "mental health) days.
They don't exist!!
In Other News:
So, I dyed my hair black.
Yes, I did. Since I was 11, I dreamed of having black hair (that "shone blue in the light"--whatever that means. Some author somewhere extolled their heroine's hair color in this way) and blue eyes. Well, my eyes aren't any bluer, but my hair is as black as Noah's face when he comes in from playing.
I really like the color. I think I may have had black hair in a former life--oh, wait. That doesn't work. Let's just say, I think it work. BUT! It has raised a whole new problem: I don't like how the black hair looks with my glasses. Oops. I feel like it really makes my glasses stand out, and not in a "Wow, you are really rocking those glasses" way. So, I decided to trim my bangs (which I had decided to grow out) into a side-swoop type style.
I know, I said, "I trimmed". Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes not. Well, as I chopped away, I ended up feeling like, "Ack!! Nooo! I don't want bangs! What was I thinking??" and at the same time hoping they looked better to "other people".
When Rey got home, I made a comment about feeling like the bangs made it look worse. Rey said, "Yeah, but that's ok." What?? I couldn't hardly sleep feeling like Ugly Betty or worse... How could I have chopped my bangs...I wondered.
On to today, where I noticed when my "side swoopers" feel straight down that I kinda preferred that look to the swoop look. Said something to Rey... and he agreed.
Back to the scissors. So now my bangs are back to how they were when I was pregnant with Laners... But I still am not liking the glasses. Without the glasses, it looks very "Zooey-ish" (big on the "-ish")... with them... Well, picture Zooey with glasses. Hmmm.
But, I guess I will just have to work it!
(No. No pictures. Not because I'm mean like that. Because we are sans camera for the moment. Just use your imagination).