Saturday, November 28, 2009


As anyone who has talked to me in the last month or two knows, I have stumbled upon a book that has absolutely revolutionized how I understand people (and how they undestand me)--and helped me to not try to apply my personality to others. The book is Nurture by Nature by Paul & Barbara Tieger. I picked it out from my aunt's library, wondering whether it would be "one of those" dry psychological reads. Turns out, it is just the opposite and I highly reccomend it--especially to parents because it really does help you be patient with your child.

Take our family for example... I am an ENFJ, while Rey is a ISFP and Noah is a ISTJ. Even if you don't know what those letters stand for, you can see that Rey and Noah have a LOT more in common with each other...while I basically am their opposite!! (I'm hoping this baby on the way can throw some "E" my way--help a lady out here!)

But, in learning about Noah's personality, I learned that:

  • His personality is one of attaching to one person, usually his mama. Ahhh, yes.

  • His personality has a very heightened awareness of his 5 senses. Hence his knowing from 3 days old who was holding him, noticing every new thing around him, and being very particular (read: annoyed) about any kind of stickiness. When he was a couple months old, it took us a while to figure out that he wasn't sleeping because we had changed his sheets from smooth summer cotton to a fuzzy winter flannel. He didn't like it.

  • His personality doesn't like changes or undefined/unpredictable things. So, new people's houses, the nursery, people picking him up--basically anything he doesn't feel that he can predict/control makes him extremely agitated. Example: He loves the slide (he can grab on the sides to slow himself) but he hates the swing (can't control it).

  • He needs a lot of time and warning when it's time to transition to a new activity. He is a lad of extreme concentration, so just yanking him out of thought world is a traumatic thing for him indeed.

  • He is not a risk-taker. No indeed.

You have no idea how "freeing" it was for me as a mom to know that so many things really were just "Noah" and not a fault of my not socializing him enough or of not forcing him into new activities enough (things I'd been told). Basically, Noah is his own little particular self who is very happy and easy if he's given time to warm up to a situation and feels very assured that I will be nearby. This can be frustrating if I look at him through my personality--which loves new things, surprises, socializing and CHANGE!! But, when looking at him through his personality, it makes sense and gives Noah space to be who he is--while hopefully I can help mold him into the best "version of his personality" that he can be.

Check out the book... Pretty cheap on Amazon!!

1 comment:

  1. Hey Liz! Funny you posted this today, Rachel and I were literally just talking about this topic/book today after lunch. Sounds like an interesting read :)


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